Thursday, March 24, 2011

It's Been Real, It's Been Fun, But it Hasn't Been Real Fun

I've been thinking. I've been asked if I will keep up the blog now that I'm home and I've decided that I will. However, I'm going to start a new one. I thought that perhaps I should move on from the Japan thing and the title doesn't really fit anymore. I know that I could have just changed the title and perhaps the background, but the older posts will always be there, and it feels better to just close that chapter and start a new one. Each new day is fresh, with no mistakes, and a new start just seems right. As of this posting, I haven't written on the new blog, but I will include a link at the bottom, so that you can get to it easily. I hope that you will continue to follow me, even though now I'm a lot easier to get a hold of in person. Thanks for all your support while I was away, but now the real support begins, because you actually have to be there and do stuff for me. Don't worry, it goes both ways, and I promise to get back to baking as soon as I can get my house in a little better order, and re-fill the cupboards. 

Here's that link:

Monday, March 21, 2011

I'm On My Way

It's been a while since I last posted and to say that a lot has happened since then is sort of an understatement. For those who aren't aware, Evan and I returned home, home on Friday, the 18th. It was necessary for Scott to remain and work, but I know he's being taken care of and that he will be on his way out of there soon. Let me start from the beginning and try to explain some of the events that lead to early return.

On March 11th at about 2:45pm, there was a 9.0 earthquake off the coast of Sendai, Japan. This is about 270 miles north of Yokosuka where we were staying. That's about the distance from Tacoma to Cheney, WA, which is just outside of Spokane. So not super close, yet we felt the earthquake in our apartment. Evan and I were enjoying nap at the time. I woke up to the bed shaking some and couldn't quite figure it out at first, once I did, I thought that it would pass quickly and didn't feel that strong at first, so didn't really see a reason to wake up Evan and possibly freak him out. However, the shaking kept going and started to get stronger, so I got up and carried Evan to the doorway, fully expecting it to stop at any second. It didn't and Evan wanted to know what was going on and why the building was shaking. We had a whole conversation about it, while it was happening, while I contemplated moving us under the kitchen table. When it did stop, we had no damage, nothing even fell over and we had power the whole time. Scott, who was on a boat the whole time, didn't even really feel it.

Minutes after that, the coast that was hit by the earthquake, was then hit by a 33 ft. tsunami. As a result of these events a nuclear power plant had a meltdown because they weren't able to cool the nuclear reactors. The meltdown has recently been upgraded from a 4 to a 5 in severity on a scale of 7. Initially, we were not aware that the damage to the plant was going to affect us in such a major way. We were downwind of any of the radioactive material that may have been in the air, and also it seemed as though it was being downplayed. We spent the weekend out around town and even went to a movie.

On Tuesday the wind shifted and the navy began to be concerned. Scott and I discussed Evan and I leaving the island, but nothing was decided then. I was no longer worried about quitting, although, somehow it still felt like that. I was now worried about leaving Scott behind. It wasn't clear when or if he would be able to leave. On Wednesday I started packing, in the event that I needed to leave, even though it wasn't what I wanted to do. None of our plans were shared with family. It was still unclear if Evan and I would leave and where we would go if we did leave. That afternoon Scott was able to change our tickets so that we could fly out on Friday. I let everyone know we were coming back home and continued to pack like a fiend. In two days I managed to get all our stuff packed, with most of it in the suitcases we would be taking with us.

Our area was beginning to be hit by food shortages and there were threats of rolling blackouts to conserve energy, since they were down a plant. Many stores and restaurants were closed. On Thursday, we experienced our first blackout.

Friday morning we left. The airport was totally packed and the lines took forever to get through, luckily I arrived there shortly after ten for my 3:40 flight. In the end I only had about 2 hours to kill before we started boarding.

Were our family and friends somewhat in the dark about what was happening, yes. Part of that was that we didn't really know the severity of the disasters. Yes some of it was deliberate with holding, but it's hard to keep people calm when you are over 4,000 miles away. Besides, y'all would have freaked out regardless, did you really need to know all the details and make it worse on yourselves? We can try to put this all behind us now, and we will always have a personal connection to this disaster. Evan and I are home safe, and I have been told that Scott is out of Yokosuka. No idea where he is headed but I assume that it will be safer than where he was.

Not sure if I will continue posting or not. I haven't decided. If I do keep it up, it probably won't be as frequent, and not for a while, since I have the daunting task of getting my house back in order. Till then take care and I will leave you with a song.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Okay Seriously, I Am Not Depressed (it's a long one, just deal with it)

I should just leave it at that, but I'll go on. It has come to my attention that my previous post has some of you concerned about my emotional well being. I would just like to reiterate, I am not depressed. While I appreciate your concern, in this instance it's not necessary. I may have chosen to write on the wrong day. We all have ups and downs. I'm sure on occasion you all wake up and dread going to work, the grocery store, cleaning the kitchen, etc. I'd be more worried if you didn't, it might indicate that you have a brain tumor. No one is super happy, all the time. Am I looking forward to being home at the end of May? Yes. Anyone else looking forward to us being home at the end of May? That's what I thought.

Yes, I'm a little down about the hardships in my current living situation, but I'm sure that you have also committed to things that turn out not to be what you were hoping for too. I'm not about to quit. Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I don't give up. I might not even try in the first place, but once committed, I don't give in. Scott told me someone he works with told him the other day, 'My wife's only called twice, crying, and insisting that they go home.' I will not be that wife. Lots of things make me cry these days, it's probably due to the hormones, but I'm not crying over being here. Again, I will not quit. As my mother will tell you, and anyone else who will listen, I was a whiner as a child. But I'm a grown up now, and I'm going to 'put on my big girl panties and deal with it'.

I used to journal a lot as a teenager. You know, all that lower middle class angst. It was helpful to get my thoughts out, I process well on paper. I still write out my lists on paper and prefer to write things down before going to the computer. Perhaps that is why some of my posts don't come across as well as I intend. I tend to use this blog as a way of getting things out there, the only difference is that apparently all my thoughts and feelings are being highly scrutinized. Try not to read so much into what I write. I'm usually not being any more guarded than usual. If it's being said, just take it as that and nothing more. I think that if you put all your thoughts down for everyone to see, you also couldn't stand up to such an extensive critique.

I'm emotional, a worrier, and quite dramatic. Often little, seemingly inconsequential things become the most insurmountable, disastrous, panic inducing trauma ever (see what I mean). So, on occasion, things might sound worse than they really are. They might even sound worse than what I really feel about them. Am I super happy to be here? Probably not, but is it the worst place I've ever lived? Not. Even. Close. Those who remember the dungeon apartment in U.P. will know that those were some dark days, quite literally.

So, I hate to say it, but if you are going to read too much into everything that I write, put more feeling and emotion into it than I ever intended,  than you probably shouldn't read what I write anymore. If I have to consider every word that I post, and wonder how it's going to be perceived, I'm not going to write anymore. That will make it too hard and certainly not worth sharing.  Again, I appreciate your concern. For reasons I would rather not explain, I feel as though I am quite aware of my emotional/mental state, and I'm fairly confident that I would know if what I was feeling was severe enough to be concerned about. It's okay to feel elated, pensive, defeated, optimistic, excited, dejected, enraged, and a million other emotions. It's what you do with those feelings and how you choose to react that is important.

Again, try not to read too much into this, but I love this song and I'm going to take a cue from my friend Jaime and end with some lyrics.

Stand, by Rascal Flatts

You feel like a candle in a hurricane 
Just like a picture with a broken frame 
Alone and helpless, like you’ve lost your fight 
But you’ll be alright, you’ll be alright
Chorus
‘Cause when push comes to shove 
You taste what you’re made of 
You might bend ‘til you break 
‘Cause it’s all you can take 
On your knees you look up 
Decide you’ve had enough 
You get mad, you get strong 
Wipe your hands, shake it off 
Then you stand, then you stand


Life’s like a novel with the end ripped out 
The edge of a canyon with only one way down 
Take what you’re given before it’s gone 
And start holdin’ on, keep holdin’ on
Chorus
‘Cause when push comes to shove 
You taste what you’re made of 
You might bend ‘til you break 
‘Cause it’s all you can take 
On your knees you look up 
Decide you’ve had enough 
You get mad, you get strong 
Wipe your hands, shake it off 
Then you stand, then you stand

Every time you get up and get back in the race 
One more small piece of you starts to fall into place – yeah
Chorus
‘Cause when push comes to shove 
You taste what you’re made of 
You might bend ‘til you break 
‘Cause it’s all you can take 
On your knees you look up 
Decide you’ve had enough 
You get mad, you get strong 
Wipe your hands, shake it off 
Then you stand, then you stand

Yeah then you stand – yeah 
Yeah, baby 
Woo hoo, Woo hoo, Woo hoo 
Then you stand – yeah, yeah

Sunday, March 6, 2011

A Life Just Ordinary

I've really wanted to make a post, for about a week now, but for whatever reason, I just can't find the motivation to do so. Part of it is because I am growing tired of everything being so hard over here, and I was going to make a whinny post about hardships of my present life. But then I decided that I didn't want to complain anymore. I chose to be here, so regardless of whatever else is going on, I'm not going to complain about it, no one needs to listen to that and it's not going to make me feel any better.

I also thought about posting about the pregnancy, but that's pretty boring, at least to me, so that was really just a fleeting thought. Honestly, my life is pretty boring. I know that the intention of this blog was to keep all those that I am far away from up to date on what's going on in my life, but really there's nothing. I mean, not so much nothing, as nothing out of the ordinary. Which really is fine. I don't like a lot of drama, and I'm generally okay with ordinary. That just means that nothing is going terribly wrong.

So here it is, what life looks like on a regular basis: Scott works, a lot, 5-6 days a week. He's gone before we get up and if it's a good night he's home around six, although usually it is closer to seven. Evan and I run errands during the day. We have to pick up groceries about 3 times a week. The fridge is small, the freezer is even smaller, and mommy can only carry about two bags of groceries at a time. When it's not raining, we go to the park or on base to the library or to have lunch. I've been watching a lot of Grey's Anatomy, which totally sucks, I'm into the 6th season and it fulfills my need for drama that doesn't affect my life. About once a week we go out to dinner with daddy, sometimes it's good and sometimes it's not. It's all part of the adventure. On the weekends, when Scott isn't working, we try to find things to do, like go to the movies (super cheap on base, cost about 18 dollars last time and we had snacks.), the science museum as well as a cool science center.

There you have it. A life just ordinary. Which is okay, just looking forward to living my ordinary life back in Tacoma.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Home Again, Home Again (sort of)

Evan and I are back in Japan, after 9 days in Guam. We stayed with Papa and Lola and got to visit with Uncle Greg and Norma a lot. By the way, for whatever reason, Evan could never remember Norma's name. I couldn't tell if he was doing it on purpose, or if it was a true mental block. Either way, I will have to create some relative flash cards and drill Evan everyday before our next visit in May.

We went to the beach every morning we were there, except the last two, when the boy decided that he likes to be in the water and swim with his floaty, but he doesn't like being sandy or the wearing of wet clothes for that short period of time before he can get into dry clothes. I took a ton of photos at the beach but here are a few of my favorites.




One day, instead of going to the beach, we went to a water park. Evan really enjoyed this, no sand and he didn't have to wear shoes.



The next day he got to fly kite and we got to hang out with Uncle Greg and Norma again.






Evan also got to ride in Papa's outside car, and have a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.




Oh yeah, and we did sparklers one night.




If you can't tell by his face in these pics, he was totally excited most of the time. Pretty sure I was just there  to deliver Evan and keep him under control, because this was a vacation totally tailored to him. Which is fine. I enjoyed laying on the beach, and the warm weather. It was way better than the pouring rain back in Japan. Also, I got to drive, which I haven't been able to do since we arrived in Japan.

With all the excitement Evan had a few rough nights and also decided that he no longer had to listen to me, but I'm glad to say, after being home for one day, his attitude seems to be improving. Mommy's glad to be back in Japan where she can pass Evan off to Daddy when she's had enough and I'm just proud of her for not leaving Evan at the Narita airport.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Missing

I had a few other posts in mind, but they will have to keep till later, this one seemed more important. Hopefully I can keep it short and to the point, but it is what it is and needs to be expressed properly.

My not saying I miss you is purposeful, not because I don't, but because I can't deal with that. Whoever you are reading this, you miss me or us, which is at best 3 people. Stop for just a min. and think about all the people I've left behind, it's way more than three. Plus, I have to deal with Evan asking on a pretty regular basis, 'When are we going home to Tacoma?', and how he misses the dog. Seriously, who needs the guilt of a four year old. I only have two people here that I care about and as you all know, you need more than two people to keep you sane, especially when one of them is actually working to drive you insane. Also, you can probably jump in your car just about any time you want and drive to Red Robin, or The Ram, or Target, or (God forbid) Walmart, or any number of a thousand other places. You can run a load of dishes in the dishwasher or have a really good pizza delivered to you door. The list could go on and on forever.

I'm not trying to get you to feel sorry for me. I made this choice, I'm a big girl. I may not have known exactly what it entailed, but I did come here willingly. I'm simply trying to explain why it is that I might not return, and certainly not give a spontaneous, 'I miss you'. If I had to think about all the people, experiences and things that I am missing everyday I would be an emotional puddle on the floor. I have to make it through these next almost four months, and I can't become a basket case now.

This post is my 'I miss you'. You probably won't get another one, so take it while you can get it. You can still say it, but know that I know that you miss me even if you don't. While that may seem conceited, I assume that you keep me in your life because you find something about me redeeming, even if we are family. I know you are in my life because I value you. Why else am I saving you from a burning building if I don't value or find some sort of merit in your life? Why is the building on fire you might ask? How should I know, don't try to figure these things out, you'll hurt yourself.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Veggie Delight

The fresh produce here can be slightly baffling. They have some of the same vegetables that I know, as well as some that I wouldn't begin to be able to identify or know how to use. The carrots are huge, not so much long but fat. However, unlike at home where large carrots can tend to be bitter, these are so sweet, like real baby carrots and the skin is really thin, they don't need to be peeled. Cucumbers are different too. Long and skinny, about the width of a pickling cucumber, but longer and the skin also isn't bitter, similar to an English cucumber. There are lots of different mushrooms, as well as the standards that we usually find at home. I've seen purple sweet potatoes and even saw purple sweet potato ice cream when we were out once. 

Most things are reasonably priced, everything is a little more expensive. However some things I don't quite understand why they cost so much. You can't buy a whole bunch of celery, I've only seen it sold by single stalks, and the the cheapest I've seen is 98 yen for one. That's over a dollar for one stalk of celery, and it doesn't even look that good. Also the fresh garlic is a little more than I was willing to pay. Apples are pretty expensive as well. The first time I bought some I thought the price was per pound, 98 yen. Turns out it was per apple. Luckily I only picked up two. There is a small market down the road that sells bags of apples, not quite as good as the single apples, but last time I got six apples for 380 yen. Strawberries must be a real treat, because the lowest price I've seen is 385 yen for 12 strawberries. That's over 4 dollars. They look like they would be amazing, so I might break down and buy Evan some for his birthday. 

The most important thing about the produce here is that it is all amazing. I bought a tomato yesterday and it was so good, I just cut it up and ate it. It wasn't even the most expensive tomato I could have bought and it was great. The best tomato I've had in a while. I've also been buying avocados and I haven't had a bad one yet. Which I don't really understand because they appear to be coming from Mexico, just like home, but the quality is so much better. I've already mentioned the carrots, but I love them too. Usually I can't just eat a raw  carrot, they tend to be bitter, but these are so good, I love eating them all by themselves. It's like they're garden fresh in the middle of winter. I don't really get it and I don't care, just going to continue to enjoy them while we are here.